My First Time

(Originally published: 08/04/16)

I can still remember the night when I let myself go, and decided to give the biggest step in my sexual awakening. It would be a night where I would let anything happen, a night in which I would be joined by two other friends, in which we would be wearing our best outfits, and hit the nightclub for the very first time.

I'm sorry, did you think I was going to talk about something else? Didn't mean to disappoint!

Going to a nightclub as a gay boy is one of the most exciting, and should I say, formative experiences that we have in life. Not necessarily because it's a must for every weekend, but because it is essential for you to go to a gay nightclub at least once in your life.

I was barely eighteen, and had only just moved to Mexico City, and while back home I had been part of a group of older people with whom I would go to underground parties, wear black and dance to new wave music, it all had taken place in the privacy of a house, which I used to call "The Factory". Now, in the city, I was beginning to wonder how it would feel to let myself go, and be uninhibited, in a larger, more public setting.

It was on a rainy Thursday, when one of my few friends in the city, Isaac, who was the editor in chief of a publication specialized in classical music, insisted that we should go to a new bar called Kinky, in the LGBT area of the city: la Zona Rosa. I was still thinking about Guillaume, but Isaac told me that I should have fun and let myself go. So after two hours trying to convince me at this coffee shop in Condesa, I decided to go for it.

That night, my friend Alexandra and I, would meet up with Isaac in front of Reforma 222, and from there, we would walk to Amberes, the main street of Zona Rosa. You could find anything there: sensual twinks wearing mini shorts, daddies with crop tops, drag queens, the decent-looking group of friends, call girls, sugar daddies, tough lesbians, cute lesbians, low-key popper sellers, and lots of pompadours. All of this, clustered in a street with enormous trees covered in colorful lights, with loud music coming out of every nightclub, vibrant sex shops, smoke, and an insatiable chattery that promised naughty surprises for all of us. But I wasn't in the mood to go all crazy, or back to my old underground persona... I was slightly homesick, and I had Guillaume in my mind, so I dressed up very conservative, with some beige trousers, and a red shirt under my V neck sweater that looked good with my polished Oxford shoes. A nun, in comparison to everyone else there. It was as if I had just walked out of Stepford, or something.

But the first problem of the night was that I still didn't have my national ID that proved that I was over eighteen, or as Isaac liked to say, the ID that allowed me to be legally slutty. The plan of course, was to go to Kinky, because that was the place where you could meet the most attractive men in the zone, but to my disgrace, they did not allow me to get in because I didn't have my ID. After checking which places were morally wrong enough as to let me in without one, we found a place called "Le Cirque"...and it truly was a circus.

I was sweating, I didn't know what to do, did I have to start dancing already? Are those daddies over there flirting with me or just looking at me in a rather weird way? Isaac brought two tequila shots for me and made me remove my sweater, before unbuttoning my shirt a little bit. Both my friends were like "Guillaume isn't in your life anymore, so you might as well start enjoying yourself". And it was true, I was there to enjoy, and after those two shots I really felt much better.

I ended up dancing with random guy who had been staring at me for a while. He wasn't my type, but hey, at least somebody asked me to dance with them. I had just moved there, and I was alone, with my friends, living the city life, and I felt like I was in an episode of Sex And The City. And even though it wasn't the best of nightclubs, I ended up having the time of my life.

We walked out of Le Cirque around 3am, and it was then when a girl who was working doing a weird chain of favors called "Mexico For Love", asked us for a coin in exchange of doing us any favor. Isaac told her that he would give her five pesos if she could get me a handsome man to kiss with, and before I could say anything, she grabbed my hand and dragged me across the busy street in the look of the perfect man.

The girl started asking random men to kiss me, but most them were not my type, and if I was going to do that, it would be with a man that I really liked!

Suddenly, as we arrived to Paseo de la Reforma, I spotted a very tall man about to cross the avenue to the opposite side of where we were. I didn't even see his face, but I can usually tell if a man is attractive just by looking at the back of his head. He had a nice figure, and he looked rather diplomatic in that blue suit. The girl and I ran after him, crossing Paseo de la Reforma before he jumped into the cab that he had just pulled off. When we finally arrived in front of him, she explained the dynamic. He looked at me, and accepted without hesitation. The girl disappeared and the guy grabbed my hand and walked me just under the trees that were splashed in hues of purple. It was then when I was able to properly see his face: he had white skin, nice big eyes, fleshy lips, and wavy black hair. He looked so diplomatic, and his scent was warm and woody. He asked my name, and I asked his. He was Arturo. He was twenty five years old, and was about to take that cab to go home in the neighborhood of Santa Fe. We stared at each other for a little while, and then he grabbed my waist and he began kissing me as he moved his hands up my body, all the way up to my head. He was an excellent kisser, he tasted so good, it was fresh, but warm at the same time. They were the best five pesos that anyone had ever spent on me, and right there, I had received my first city kiss.

Once we opened our eyes, we smiled at each other. I think he tried to tell me something. Maybe he was about to ask for my number, but all I could do was to place my hands on his chest, look into his eyes one last time, give him a little smile, and say: "Goodbye".

I crossed the avenue back to be reunited with my friends, after what had been such a spontaneous experience. I had just realized the world of possibilities that existed in the city. Where everybody is looking for something. Where drinks, sexuality, and chattery, give an authentic spice to the night. My first time at a gay nightclub was probably not a mind-blowing experience, but it did make me feel free, and realize that this was my new reality. That was my here and now, and I had to enjoy it, dance, sing, and explore every single opportunity.

After that night, and with the pass of time, I became an expert of Mexico City's nightlife, and I never went back to a nightclub with a shirt buttoned up to my neck.

And just like that, as I crossed Paseo de la Reforma, surrounded by its skyscrapers, and being hit by the cold wind of the night, the city had kissed me, and I knew that, without a doubt, I was ready for more.